Thursday, December 10, 2009

It is Better to Give Than to Receive

J-man and I had a very busy day yesterday. First we donated a couple of items to our favorite local no-kill animal shelter, Safe Harbor. (Our dog, Bella, is an alumnus.) Then it was off to Wal-Mart for a whirlwind shopping trip. There are many causes we typically support at Christmastime and hubby and I agreed to amp up the giving this year because so many people are really struggling financially. Don’t get me wrong. This year has been a very challenging year for us financially. Business is down but God is faithful and continues to bring clients and work in our doors. This is more than we can say for many people. Therefore, we really feel the need to share this year. In an effort to accomplish this we’ve decided we’re not going to exchange gifts with each other this year. I can only speak for myself, but honestly there is nothing I need. Now want, well that’s a different story, but if 2009 has taught us anything it is that our wants are definitely NOT needs. On a funny aside, I had an epiphany the other day while walking through a craft store. The song All I Want for Christmas is You was broadcasting over the store speakers and I was singing along aloud to J-man who was chilling in his Peanut Shell. As I looked down at him singing the refrain it dawned on me that those exact words would’ve been flowing from my lips last Christmas as we awaited our referral. I smiled from ear to ear knowing nothing could be closer to the truth. I got everything I wanted for Christmas and it was delivered EARLY this year.

Yesterday my heart was light as I selected a couple of pairs of jeans, shirts, socks and underwear for a young man we’re “sponsoring” through our church, Maranatha, this Christmas. We also picked up a wagon and a huge bag of building blocks for a baby we’re sponsoring through our company for a toy drive facilitated by one of our clients. This year we elected to sponsor just one child in each charity as opposed to two or three, but we’re going above and beyond for each child as our finances permit in an effort to make it a special Christmas for them. Our final purchases yesterday were items for New Life Nicaragua, an orphanage in Managua. This charity is near and dear to my heart for obvious reasons. New Life houses infants and children that are seriously malnourished. Our church is seeking donations of over-the-counter medications and vitamins, cloth diapers and small toys for infants at the orphanage as well as monetary contributions.

I have two more tasks remaining on my to-do list. Saturday I will purchase food items for a food bank our church houses. It goes without saying that the need is great this year for families requiring assistance to simply put food on the table. We will purchase the components for two entire meals—including whole chickens. My final goal is to find a person or family who can benefit from large ticket gently-used toys Jackson has already outgrown. The ideal person would be a single mother. Since I was once that person, I know what it means to be blessed with toys for a child. When you’re struggling to merely survive (pay rent, utilities and put food on the table) Christmas is something you’d rather not think about. After posting this entry I’m off to make some phone calls to find this person or people. Today as I embark on my quest to find someone who will benefit from these toys I’m going to reflect on these words of Mother Teresa:

“Today, more and ever, we need to pray for the light to know the will of God…
for the love to accept the will of God… for the way to do the will of God…”

I challenge you to do the same. You’ll experience Christmas in an entirely new light. I gave an in depth detail of our giving, not to glorify what we’re doing, but to illustrate that it doesn’t take a lot to be a blessing to someone. Boys’ polo shirts and jeans at Wal-Mart: $7 and $15/each respectively; building blocks (HUGE bag): $15; OTC meds/vitamins: $3 to $8 (plus you can clip coupons for them); groceries: nominal (look for BOGO); donating GENTLY-used toys: nothing-nada-zip. You don’t have to donate major bucks to make a difference. ANYTHING YOU DO will make a difference. Go ahead—BE THE DIFFERENCE!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A Change of Tone and Praise

Obviously I’ve posted little since returning home with Jackson. Frankly I just don’t have time, but I’ve also decided to keep our family life private. The internet has made it commonplace to share everything and anything about our lives; however, I’m not comfortable sharing Jackson’s life. This is my own personal decision.

That said there are times that I’ve thought about sharing thoughts I’ve had or things I’ve read, but that would mean changing the tone of my blog. The blog was initially established to share my personal journey in our adoption. Now that our adoption is complete, I’m putting the “Ethiopian adoption” aspect of this blog to rest. Hopefully I will find time to post things on here as they are laid upon my heart or pop into my mind. If someone benefits from it, that’s great. But the real reason for the blog from this point forward is merely to share.

Today I feel the need to worship. I feel the need to praise our awesome and wonderful LORD for his faithfulness, goodness and mercy. He is a truly merciful God who loves me despite my many blatant shortcomings. He blesses me time and again, each and every moment of the day and he is truly worthy of my praise. I can’t think of a more appropriate offering of praise than the following Psalm. It says it all. I hope anyone who happens to read this is as blessed as I am by King David’s writing. I want to shout this from the rooftop!


Psalm 145
A psalm of praise. Of David.
1 [a] I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2 Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.
3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
5 They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works. [b]
6 They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
8 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
9 The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
10 All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
your saints will extol you.
11 They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
12 so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made. [c]
14 The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
20 The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

May you be blessed today and perhaps even be moved to take a moment to offer up your own prayer of praise and thanksgiving for the innumerable blessings and wondrous works God bestows upon you each and every day.

Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11

911 has a profound affect on me each year. As a former flight attendant who worked an early morning flight out of Boston’s Logan International Airport September 11, 2001, it is suffice to say I will never forget where I was that day. Our plane had flown over The Pentagon just moments before American Airlines flight 77 struck the building. Our first officer actually commented, telling passengers to look out the left side of the aircraft for a clear view of The Pentagon on the clear September morning.

I spent the following three days sequestered at a hotel in Lake City, Florida, after a government-ordered emergency landing. I spent those three days sitting at the foot of my bed, watching the news coverage over and over again, crying until I made myself sick.

In the years that have followed I still try, albeit unsuccessfully, to make sense of that day. Eight years later, I am no closer to understanding the evil that perpetrated these attacks on innocent people. That said, I was directed to the following scripture by the Holy Sprit this morning. I experienced a profound sense of peace in reading it.

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; and his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge—
10 Then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Friday, July 3, 2009

Life With Jackson

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Where Does the Time Go?

Wow! Where does the time go? It's been over one month since I last posted an entry. It's not for lack of desire, but for sheer lack of time. I am working (albeit from home) every hour during the day that Jackson is asleep. That leaves early mornings, evenings and weekends for housework, laundry/ironing, shopping and family time and absolutely zero time for blogging or even Facebook for that matter. It's as if I've dropped off the radar. If it isn't a mobile upload on the fly then sadly I don't get to it.

Things are absolutely great here in the DuBose household. We've settled into a wonderfully comfortable rhythm (sleep deprivation aside). Jackson is such a joy and we are having so much fun! He still isn't sleeping through the night, but I don't feel as bad in a physical sense as I thought I would. He is usually up for an hour to an hour and a half, usually waking at two. He is just not a sleeper. He takes a couple of naps during the day which recharge his batteries and then gets what must be ample sleep for his internal clock because he is up and raring to go in the best of moods each morning. When Jackson does sleep through the night our day begins in full force at five a.m. It's a very good thing I'm a morning person! I will be sad to see the end of my Ethiopian coffee. I'm sad to say only two pounds remain.

Jackson is up to nineteen pounds. That's a far cry from the eleven pound baby we brought home from Ethiopia two and a half months ago. He LOVES to eat! Jackson also has six teeth at present. The two front teeth on the bottom were the first to arrive. The four top teeth (front and eye teeth) all popped in the past week. Yep! They are popping like beautiful, white kernels of popcorn! This extreme teething may well be contributing to his sleeplessness, but it has not affected his jolly mood in the least. He is so much fun!

Jackson is also scooting backward on his belly for very long distances and trying very hard to talk. His first word will most likely begin with either a "c" or "g" because he says these consonants over and over in rapid fire succession throughout the day. He is fascinated with our dogs and Gunnar is his shadow, so perhaps "Gunnar" will be his first word. Jackson has also learned how to scream--loudly. He screams just for the heck of it. He cracks himself up. He'll scream, look at you and then smile and/or laugh. And then he does it all over again. He's a riot!

In my "downtime" I've been working on the re-adoption process we must go through in this country. The United States does not recognize the Ethiopian courts so we must go through the arduous and somewhat expensive process of a stateside adoption. All states are different. We are lucky that Florida does not require an attorney so I am attempting to do this myself. It has been a challenge to say the least because there are no written instructions, rules, regulations, guidelines, requirements, etc. A family from central Florida who adopted from Ethiopia last year was kind enough to share some of their document templates and links to government documents to be filed but I had to make yet another trip to the courthouse this morning (my second this week) to provide another batch of information/documentation. It wouldn't be bad if you could ask someone a question and get a straightforward answer, but they will not answer not even the most basic question at the courthouse. Their pat reply is that they are unable to provide legal advice, even if it is not legal advice you are seeking, but rather simple direction or clarification. Not to mention the fact that we received someone else's request for additional information in the mail which I had to PERSONALLY return to the courthouse in order to receive OUR request for additional information! It's frustrating.

Also in my downtime I've been preparing our three-month post placement report. The Ethiopian government requires follow-up reports from adoptive families and social worker visits three times in the first year and every year thereafter until the child reaches 18 years of age. This also requires documentation and legwork.

So perhaps you're beginning to see the picture as to why I have so little time to blog. And I really, really miss it. It's not only a great way to document the goings on in our/my life, but has proven to be a wonderful means by which to sort my thoughts as I write. I keep thinking it's going to get better; that there will miraculously be more hours in my day tomorrow, but that has yet to happen. I'm just thankful I was able to get photos uploaded to Facebook today. Yea! It's the little victories that mean so much!

Oh well, I'm going to go wake my sleeping baby. Don't want that nap to be too long...

Until next time...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Hakuna Matata

Jackson had his one-month (or six- month, depending on how you look at it) pediatrician visit today. To say he is doing good just might be the greatest understatement of the year. He has gained nearly four pounds in one month. That’s the difference a high-protein diet makes.

As noted in an earlier post, Jackson has gone from looking like a frail infant to a healthy, robust baby. The gain in strength alone is amazing to me. When I look at his girth I find it hard to believe this is the same baby we met April 13th in Africa. His weight has gone from the less than five percentile to the 25th percentile on the (American) chart for a normal male infant. And his height is right in the normal range. This is amazing!

Additionally, I really feel as if we’ve turned a corner this week in attachment and bonding. I really feel as if Jackson has finally learned he can truly trust us to be there from moment to moment to care for him. For the first four weeks of our lives together I felt as if he was holding back somewhat. He was very quick to cry at every turn but now sheds very few tears during the course of the day. He is such a joy to be around. He makes me laugh and laugh—all-day-long. I just love being around him. He makes life make sense.

Hakuna matata, friends. Hakuna matata…

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Happy Six-Month Birthday, Jackson!

Today is Jackson’s six-month birthday. It’s almost hard for me to imagine because he was only seven weeks old when we received our referral. It’s hard to believe three months have passed since that day. I remember the telephone call as if it were yesterday.

Jackson has changed so much since meeting him five weeks ago. When we met him he was a tiny, fragile, dazed little sprite. Now he is robust with a big roly-poly belly and chubby legs. He is amazingly strong in my opinion. He is learning to sit up on his own and loves to stand erect on his own two legs. I yell, “Hurray!” and he just laughs and laughs. When we met him he was incapable of grasping anything but one of our fingers. Now he grabs anything within reach. One thing he definitely does not like, however, is “tummy time”. He hates to be on his belly and I can’t blame him. He has virtually no strength if you place him face-down. But he does just fine if we’re reclining and he is laying face-down on our chest. He has plenty of arm strength to lift himself up and backward, looking all around.

Another thing I must comment on is the attention Jackson garners when we’re out in public. I’m going to have to add thirty minutes to my anticipated shopping excursions because everyone stops us to talk to him and comment on how big his eyes are and how beautiful he (she—which is what people actually call him) is. And it’s true. He is all of those things: charming and beautiful with these huge, lovely eyes that absorb every detail of every possible thing in his line of vision. Sometimes in our quiet moments I get lost for long periods of time just watching him observe the world around him. He has a look of utter surprise as his head turns 180 degrees right to left and 90 degrees straight up to the ceiling. I would LOVE to possess that innocence and be that fascinated by the world around me. What a beautiful space to be in.

Greg and I still cannot believe he is here—in our home, in our lives, in our arms, in our hearts. The process of adoption is fraught with so many ups and down and unforeseen obstacles and delays that it sometimes seemed like we would never have a baby. But he is here. And he is ours. And he is lovely. And his name is Jackson and he is six months old today.

Happy birthday, my beautiful son, and here’s to many, many happy returns. I love you.

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.


Martin Farquhar Tupper
(British poet, 1810-1889)